Introvert-extrovert relationships can be wonderful and satisfying, but they definitely require communication and compromise, which is one thing they have in common with, oh, every other kind of relationship in existence.
Here are some tips for keeping your introvert-extrovert relationship running smoothly:
1. Define your needs.
This means you have to be much more specific than "I feel like going out." "Well, I don't." Why do you want to go out? Are you craving fresh air? A change of scenery? Is there a specific event you want to attend or person you want to see? Why do you want to stay in? Are you physically tired? Engrossed in a task? Not up to dealing with crowds? When you establish exactly what you want out of going out or staying in, it's often possible to find an activity that suits both your needs. If your objective is to stay on your own turf and your partner's is to get to know her BFF's new boyfriend, maybe you can satisfy everyone by having the two of them over for beers and board games.
2. Define your boundaries.
We're complicated animals; it's rarely as simple as "I'm an introvert, I hate other people" or "I'm an extrovert, I hate being alone." There are probably specific circumstances that make crowds or solitude easier or harder for you to deal with. What are they? My partner particularly dislikes groups of people who all know each other and are unwelcoming to newcomers; a crowd where no one knows anyone or a small gathering of intimate friends is preferable. I don't like being alone with nothing to do, because then I just waste time on the Internet until I get a tension headache from staring at a screen, but planned downtime with a movie, a book, or a long walk is wonderful. Knowing what's a "maybe" and what's a "hard no" for your partner makes it easier to find middle ground.
3. Make quality time count.
One-on-one time together is crucial for any romance, but introverts and extroverts often have different ideas of what that should look like. What makes you feel connected to your partner? Snuggling up in front of a classic movie? Going on a long bike ride together? Hours of gymnastic, neighbor-annoying sex? Don't assume the answer is the same for everyone â€” you may be feeling like, "We never do anything together," while your partner thinks you're in paradise because there's nothing better than reading your separate books side-by-side every evening. Talk about what both of you need to make your time together feel like a valuable and refreshing break.