Shudhh Desi Romance, they call it. And we couldn't agree more. In a time when 'sanskriti' is fast-eroding and 'sanskaar' has been reduced to a mere Alok Nath meme, Hindu Mahasabha has given us all an opportunity to redeem ourselves, by marrying off couples seen romancing on V-day. Aww. So, in order to make the samaj-sewak Mahasabha workers' lives easier, a bunch of bright, young, non-'feminist type' people have announced a grand plan -- to show up in bright, colourful attire at the Mahasabha's office in Delhi, in pairs of course. Haye, such adarsh baalaks/baalikas, we tell you. We caught up with one such baalika, who goes by the name Laxmi Bai, and asked her a few questions about her Hindu Mahasabha-funded mass wedding.

2. Have you found your suitable var for the event?

Yes, of course. It's high time na! The lucky man is Prakash Kaushik, the head of the Hindu Mahasabha. He even has his own website. Such a handsome man, full on sapno ka raja types! Sigh! I wonder if he is 56inch too! I have placed an order with the PMO office for a special suit for him, you know that one with his name stitched on it all over in golden thread.

What a catch! Laxmi Bai Kaushik has a ring to it, no?

3. First reaction on hearing the great news from the Mahasabha?

Absolutely, totally fucking delighted! I mean, what a boon, for all of us -- struggling lovers, fighting family and society, barriers of religion, caste, class, gotra, gender etc. With the Mahasabha on our side, our transgressive love will finally attain the ultimate fulfilment that is marriage.

Of course, love 'jihadis' will have to undergo a shuddikaran. However, ghar wapasi tickets have been reasonably and auspiciously priced at Rs.11 each and will be on sale on the wedding day.

This is SUCH A fix all celebration. Who knew Indians could add so much meaning to Valentine's Day?