Rating: **1/2 Cast: Ranveer Singh, Priyanka Chopra, Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah, Anushka Sharma, Farhan Akhtar, Rahul Bose, Zarina Wahab, Aamir Khan (voice over) Director: Zoya Akhtar Let me just say it. Dil Dhadakne Do will not make your heart beat. It might make your brain wander though. Thoughts like *I need to pee* *Why did I forget that slice of pizza in the fridge* *Ranveer has really white teeth* *Why, that chick is like a mini-Katrina, congrats Bollywood* sure crossed my mind. But the one thought that would undoubtedly visit you is, "Why is this so long? Is there no intermission?" Zoya Akhtar's Mother of Multi-starrers (still not as cool as Mother of Dragons) suffers from a typical multi-starrer disease called what-do-I-do-with-my-actors-itis. There's the patriarch Anil Kapoor, who despite his salt and pepper hair, does not get sexy with age. There's the borderline-mysoginistic husband (Rahul Bose), who is overtly villianised to the point of being a caricature. There's a dog (trust me this is important) who narrates, and while I appreciate the narrative effort, it's simply not cute. And there's Ranveer, who has the best dialogues and brilliant moments, but gets lost in a sea of actors swimming in the deep end of mediocrity. The music doesn't work for the film, except Anushka's 1920's swing number, and that too because nothing interesting happens in the film before her entry.