So yesterday, I was watching Sex and The City movie with my roommate. Just a normal night. Besides the fact that this movie revolves around wrapping up all four girl’s storyline with dignity, what struck me was this line by Carrie Bradshaw: “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” I couldn’t help but wonder why she said that? Because, who isn’t? If you ponder over this for a while, you’ll know why this quote is relevant in today’s times. I have friends who keep summing up their dating life as – “Well…sort of…I mean, we’re not really seeing seeing each other we’re just seeing each other. Do you know what I mean?” The person who has been in this situation (or not) knows exactly what I mean. Because if there’s one scenario that’s become endemic amongst myself and my peers, it’s our inability to define a relationship after one or two years of being together! If you think about it, despite feeling difficult the problems people struggle with in relationship sound pretty trivial. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying, and irrational romantic love that somehow finds things thrown at walls in a fit of tears pretty endearing! The question that I want to ask is – Do you really feel a connection with that special someone or is it just somebody to hold hands and make out with?

3. Being in a relationship = status symbol

I’ve seen 12-year-olds talking as “my guy” or “my bitch”. Disturbing, isn’t it? Not only them, but also the people who are in their 20s claim like this. Romantic associations being indistinguishable are becoming a social norm. People do this because they want to sound ‘cool’ or feel ‘accepted’. Well, it never works this way and the results can be quite catastrophic. Most physical based relationships, with no committed agreements, come with an early expiration date. Why do we need to make this a status symbol? Did happiness factor went down the drain?!

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4. Equating Relationship With Gifts

This point can prove to be lethal. Any time a major conflict or issue comes up in the relationship, instead of solving it, one covers it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice. This is really toxic! Not only does it brush the real problem under the rug (where it will always re-emerge even worse the next time). Let’s imagine that whenever a woman gets angry at her boyfriend/husband, the man “solves” the issue by buying the woman something nice or taking her to a nice restaurant or something. End result? A checked-out husband/boyfriend who feels like an ATM, and an incessantly bitter woman who feels unheard!!

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