So yesterday, I was watching Sex and The City movie with my roommate. Just a normal night. Besides the fact that this movie revolves around wrapping up all four girl’s storyline with dignity, what struck me was this line by Carrie Bradshaw: “I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” I couldn’t help but wonder why she said that? Because, who isn’t? If you ponder over this for a while, you’ll know why this quote is relevant in today’s times. I have friends who keep summing up their dating life as – “Well…sort of…I mean, we’re not really seeing seeing each other we’re just seeing each other. Do you know what I mean?” The person who has been in this situation (or not) knows exactly what I mean. Because if there’s one scenario that’s become endemic amongst myself and my peers, it’s our inability to define a relationship after one or two years of being together! If you think about it, despite feeling difficult the problems people struggle with in relationship sound pretty trivial. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying, and irrational romantic love that somehow finds things thrown at walls in a fit of tears pretty endearing! The question that I want to ask is – Do you really feel a connection with that special someone or is it just somebody to hold hands and make out with?

5. Is technology killing the relationship?

The brain sapping technology does play its part here! We can be in touch with our potential paramours all the time – via texts, Facebook, Email, Skype – and this constant contact can be misleading, giving us the impression that we’re embroiled in something much more meaningful than we really are. Overuse of all of this kills the essence of being together. Ours is a generation of contradictions. We bravely (recklessly?) let the rest of the world into our online world!

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We need to stop doing all of these. Because only a handful we meet in our entire lives, ever grab us on that gut-level, where we lose all rationality and control and lay awake at night thinking about them and smiling like an idiot!

Figuring all of this out, I’ve stopped all text communication with the man I’m sort-of seeing. And it seems to have worked. As soon as I finish writing this, we’re meeting for dinner. Just the two of us.