When it comes to portraying “gandi baat” in not-so-ganda ways, nobody does it better than Bollywood. From cute to over-the-top to simply bizzare, there’s no stone filmmakers have left unturned to imply sexy times. Those were the days when all people did in the Censor Board was swat flies or play whatever it was they played before Angry Birds. Here are 17 totally super crazy ways in which Bollywood depicted sex.

Tight Hand Holding

So here’s a technique you’re not going to find in the Kama Sutra. It’s called “Handy Crush”. You’re welcome.

Places with a lot of hay

Here’s a life lesson from Bollywood: Make hay when the sun sets! A moment of silence for the poor horses in the stable.