We’ve all fallen for them at some point in our manly lives. The “one that got away” some of them. But it’s always nice to sort them into more general stereotypes to reminisce on a shallower level so that we might connect with online strangers a bit better.

The Childhood Friend Turned Adult Hottie

Mom: Hey, Susan is here. Come show her your new video game.
You at age 12: Ugh ok.

Mom: Hey, your old friend Susan is here.
You at age 25: Oh. OH OKAYYY~

Probably the reason why Susan is so irresistible now is because you think that when you younger she was so accessible. But now that she’s hot, you probably missed that boat but long for it anyways.

The Bombshell Conservative Girl

Bang! Boobs.
Boom! Booty.
La-zam! Legs.
…all hidden under layers and layers of cotton, wool, Christian music, and abstinence until marriage.

You just pray that you are around when she decides to go crooked.