Kendriya Bhandar cooperative stores in Delhi, which also supply to the Central Government offices, will soon be replacing all their Phenyl products with Gaunyle, a liquid made using bovine urine. Its natural goodness aside, we got the cow on our staff roll to write her views on this latest development. And this is what she had to say. I am the most popular, living , breathing divine being to roam the concrete jungles of India and now I have found my way to the corridors of power. Because my urine will now be used to make the offices of the Central Government shine like a twilight vampire.

Seriously? Look at me! Could I BE anymore adorable?

After you use our services and our products, you discard us and ignore us as we live in squalor. We aren't props at a fair and our importance isn't limited to a few religious festivals in an year. FYI.

We have families, we need homes, we need fodder and we need a place to chew that fodder.

Most of all, give us the respect we deserve.

And BTW, this DOES NOT count as a hygienic living space.

These plans to use my urine for cleaning purposes is apparently meant to "save cows and serve the nation" by engaging gaushalas and providing sources of money to be spent on my family and me.